Thursday

Zen 1157: Mansour Bahrami - the tennis god you've probably never heard of

You've got to love a sportsman like Mansour Bahrami. As a kid, he learned to play tennis using frying pans and broom sticks. He eventually graduated to the Iranian national team, only for his career to be cut short by the Islamic revolution which banned the sport for being 'unIslamic' and 'elitist'. Having fled his home country and lost his life savings in a French casino, Bahrami gained moderate success on the pro tour tennis circuit but had a terrible habit of getting knocked out in the early rounds because he liked arsing around and entertaining the crowd with trick shots more than he liked winning. Such was his reputation that he remains the only unseeded player in ATP history to be paid a guarantee just to turn up. He still regularly lights up the veteran Champions Tour and can do quite astonishing things with a racket. You'll need to watch this twice to fully soak up the awesomeness.

Zen 1156: 'Maybe I shouldn't have said that on telly"

You simply don't get breakfast TV like this in Britain. I was only going to put up the clip of the farmer corpsing the presenter with his cow joke (at about 4 min 20 secs) but the whole thing is pretty inspired. And yes, this is the same guy Sacha Baron Cohen stitched up as The Dictator.

Zen 1155: I believe I can fly - more mad antics in high places

OK, so you do that and then a bit later you ...errr... take off the safety line?

Merde.