Zen 919: Dog shampoo tested on stupid humans

I've just discovered this dog shampoo. As if the wanky designer branding, 'oatmeal' flavouring and 'sensitive skin formula' weren't irritating enough (sensitive skin? When the little fucker's just thrown himself in bog water and rolled in fox shit? Really?) it proudly bears the legend "Cruelty Free - Tested on Humans First".

So let me recap. This is a dog shampoo. For dogs. To be used on creatures of the canine persuasion. But it's been tested on humans first? To what end exactly? I can understand the idea of testing cosmetics on people rather than dogs, because dogs don't wear eye liner. But this - I'll say it again - is a product for dogs. The underlying message here is that Fifi the Chihuahua is a higher creature than the poor witless human drones who volunteered to have it squeezed in their eyes.

I suppose that if you're prepared to allow some ding-dong in a lab coat to abuse you with dog detergent, this may well be true. But where does it end? "Thank you for volunteering today, Mr Smith. Now, we're testing a new shoulder length rubber glove for use on cows, so if you wouldn't mind stripping off, we'll get started. Nurse, the Vaseline please...."