The controversial chair of the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, Dr Rajendra Pachauri, has just published a 'smutty' book. Now clearly the Nobel Prize-winning scientist had no idea that his fictional romp was going to hit the shelves at the precise moment his meticulously cultivated credibility was under media scrutiny, but the timing is rather special.
Astonishingly, it's just been revealed that the source for the dodgy IPCC claim about the world's glaciers disappearing by 2035 was an article in a climbing magazine, a journal with all the scientific standing of the Argos catalogue. As the man ultimately responsible for quality control in the IPCC reports, Pachauri has egg on his face, but the derision heaped on him for such an awful academic blunder is as nothing compared to the cyber-shoeing he is receiving over his appalling tit-flick.
The book, entitled 'Return to Almora', details the spiritual journey of an Indian climate change academic in his 60s who hails from Nanital. So nothing autobiographical about this one, other than the "Indian climate change academic in his 60s who hails from Nanital" bit.
There is, by all accounts, a lot of shagging in it. Really badly written shagging. And not only that, but an awful lot of really badly written shagging accompanied by an awful lot of breast fixation, especially of the heavingly voluptuous variety. As the Times of India put it, the hero, Sanjay: "... is always noticing breasts and masturbating." Lovely.
Nonetheless, our not-remotely-autobiographical swordsman is no slouch between the sheets:
"She removed her gown, slipped off her nightie and slid under the quilt on his bed ... Sanjay put his arms around her and kissed her, first with quick caresses and then the kisses becoming longer and more passionate ... Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sandy, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated?’."
Why indeed Rajendra. I mean Sanjay. Phwoar.
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