Zen 58: Kick in the crutch

Have just been to work on crutches*. Force of circumstance required me to take public transport. I have to do the same thing tomorrow. Here are the scores so far:

• Number of people offering a seat: Zero
• Number of impatient tuts from people behind me while dismounting from train: 3
• Number of people actually kicking one crutch away while barging past: 2
• Number of people striking bad knee with heavy object as they barged past: 2
• Number of bus drivers making no concession for the fact that someone on crutches has just boarded the bus (but is not yet seated) and accelerating away like they were being chased by the Devil himself: 1
• Number of people asking in a concerned manner if I had 'slipped on the ice': 1
• Number of friends and acquaintances who just pointed and laughed: 5
• Number of friends and acquaintances who laughed like they were going to haemorrhage when they found out I have just three weeks to recover before skiing: 5

* Bonus point if you can guess why I was on crutches (according to other people):

Is it because I am:

a) Too old to play rugby?
b) A 'fucking liability'
c) 'A twat'